I am a mother to a 13 year old girl. Being a mother has been a full time job and there are no tea or lunch breaks in between. Introducing Kiki’s Parenting Yard feature, this is where ALL parents will be sharing their own personal experiences including tips on being a parent – all for the love of our children.
I wrote a similar article in 2011 when I was still writing for Just Curious. I know some of you don’t like children or have made a decision not to have any, and that is ok but surely you do know someone who can benefit from the topics that will be addressed on this feature so please feel free to share the links with them.
As a parent, you are on duty 24/7 whether you are with your child or not, and you are always on call or on stand-by. If the school or nanny phones you, you drop everything and rush there. No parent is perfect and no parent knows it all. We learn everyday through different ways or experiences how to become a good parent. It’s not an easy road but it’s not an impossible one either. I know sometimes what works on my child might not work on yours, but we all are aiming to get the same results.
These are a few basic DOs and DON’Ts that I try to live by, practice or follow. Please add or question where you can. Let’s be willing to learn from each other, for the love of our children.
DOs
- Do show your child love always.
- Do hug and kiss your child every time (trust me, this is very important)
- No matter how sad, down or stressed you are, always look at your child with a smile.
- Do teach your child the difference between right and wrong.
- Do teach your child responsibility.
- Do teach your child not to be a bully
- Do teach your child not to see colour (No to racism)
- Do teach your child to learn to stand up for themselves.
- Do tell your child never to talk to strangers or accept and food/drink or gifts
- Do teach your child that there are less fortunate people out there and they must not laugh, criticize or look down on them.
- Do teach your child cleanliness and hygiene. If they mess, then they must clean after themselves
- Do teach your child to respect him/herself and everyone else around them.
- Do tell them that they are beautiful/cute/nunuz/special etc
- Do teach them the important words like, Thank You and I’m sorry.
- Do thank your child every time they do well and say sorry to them if you accused them of something they did not do.
- Do teach your child that lying is wrong.
- Do teach your child to appreciate everything they have and not take things for granted
- Do tell your child that as much as you love them, you might not always be around.
- Do punish your child for whatever wrong they do.
- Do tell your child that people are different. Just because other children are smoking, drinking at school it doesn’t mean he/she has to do it too.
- Do teach your child that, what they see on TV is acting not real life.
- Do tell your child to be friends only with other children and not with adults.
- Do teach your child to be open and feel free to talk to you about anything, good or bad.
- Do protect your child from the monsters of this world.
DON’Ts
- Don’t abuse your child. Be it Emotional, Verbal, Physical or Sexually. Abuse is wrong.
- Don’t smoke in front of your child. That second hand smoke is very bad.
- No matter how disappointed or angry you are at your child’s father, DON’T take it out on your child. It’s not their fault.
- Don’t have sex in front of your child. There is nothing wrong with kissing especially if you are married. But make sure it’s not that deep lip action. It has to be one of those on the chic, lips or forehead in the form of a greeting or a goodbye to your husband/wife. Children need to see/feel the love between their parents.
- Don’t fight with your partner in front of your child. Keep your arguments far away from them.
- If your child is sleeping in the next room, please DON’T make noise during sex. If you can’t control yourself please play some music.
- Don’t use dirty words or any vulgar language during your child’s presence.
- Don’t bad mouth your partner, baby daddy or your ex’s current lover during your child’s presence.
- Don’t introduce every man or woman you sleep with to your child. Children have a very good memory, so some lovers are better off kept a secret.
- Don’t defend your child unnecessarily. If your child is wrong make sure they know that.
- Don’t bring up children as a form insult during ANY argument. Children are off limits.
- If you are mad at me, please DON’T take it out on my child.
Treat every child like they are your own. If you feel doing or saying certain things in front of your child is wrong then what makes you think you can say or do those very same things in front of somebody else’s child?
Just like Tupac Shakur said: “It’s not about you protecting YOUR child, it’s about you protecting THESE children.”
As mentioned earlier, #ParentingYard is a spot where parents including myself will be sharing their life stories and tips on Parenting. If you’d like to share, feel free to drop me an email. Follow us on Twitter & Instagram @ParentingYard
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@KikiMarli
kiki@ossifymedia.com